Violence against women anywhere should be struck down

Indian Newslink received the following email discussion domestic violence and violence against women. It raises a debate. Please join and enhance national awareness.
Laura O’Connell Rapira
Wellington, December 20, 2018
It is difficult to know how to express the horror so many of us feel about what happened to Grace Millane. She was 21, on the trip of a lifetime, with her whole life ahead of her… and then she was gone.
Terrifying Statistics
When young women are murdered, it reminds us that our safety is an illusion.
We have some of the worst statistics for sexual violence, domestic violence and violence against women in the OECD.
As a way to channel our collective anger and grief toward solutions and action, we are calling on Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern to invest in prevention of violence against women, and support of its victims and survivors. Will you add your power?

An Open Letter
On December 15, 2018, we published an open letter signed by more than 50 influential women, community leaders and NGOs that calls for the men and government of New Zealand to end violence against women.
It was published in the Weekend Herald which has a readership of 515,000 people and has already been covered by RNZ, Newshub, TVNZ and NewstalkZB
The Letter calls for the government to adopt a comprehensive strategy to prevent and end violence against women and to allocate adequate resources to “Ensure that every woman in Aotearoa New Zealand has access to culturally appropriate domestic and sexual violence support and healing services when and where they need it”.
Click here to sign the petition to prevent and end violence against women.
Famous Signatories

The Open Letter also asks the men of New Zealand to help women change the reality that most violence towards women is enacted by men. It asks men to listen to, and respect, women. And it asks men to challenge conversations that degrade women because those conversations create the attitudes that our shape our society
People who signed the letter include former Prime Ministers Helen Clark and Jenny Shipley, former Governor-General Dame Silvia Cartwright, comedians Michèle A’Court and Urzila Carlson, musician Anika Moa, business leaders Theresa Gattung and Nadia Lim as well as 14 NGOs and one students’ association.
We coordinated the letter with writer, activist and musician Lizzie Marvelly.
We also sent a copy to Rt. Hon Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern this morning.
You can add to the chorus of calls for systemic solutions by signing the petition here.

Outraged New Zealanders

Since the tragic death of Grace Millane, my newsfeed has been full of people experiencing grief, sadness, anger and mamae (deep pain and hurt).
Grief for Grace and her whānau. Sadness at the state of our country. Anger at people who retort ‘not all men’ instead of listening. Mamae (hurt) that when women from marginalised backgrounds are killed there is no prime ministerial apology or round-the-clock media coverage.
Yet all of the women I know who are organising vigils and campaigns in response to the murder of Grace Millane are the same women who organise, write about and work with (and/or are) survivors of gender-based violence themselves.
They are the same women who work to raise public consciousness about access to safe and legal abortion or fully funded and culturally appropriate sexual and domestic violence support and prevention services.
Victims of violence
Understandably, there has been some hurt and frustration from some people with first-hand experience of gender-based violence about the public outpouring of love for Grace compared with the attention we pay to Māori, migrant, trans or disabled women who are murdered in this country.
Disabled women are about twice as likely to be victims of violence or abuse compared to other women. Māori are three times more likely to be killed by a partner than non-Māori.
But the truth is, the majority of the population are able-bodied and Pākehā. They see their kids and friends in Grace. They see their daughter who is backpacking in Europe. They see themselves.
Death of Grace Millane
Grace’s murder was also at the hands of a stranger which is different from most gender-based violence which occurs at the hands of an intimate partner. A sickening reality which perhaps we have come to accept as “normal?”
It should not be normal.
Grace’s death also happened close to Christmas, when people are thinking about whānau. The story got news coverage because we kept clicking. It struck a chord, and hence journalists kept writing.
I am not saying any of this is okay. We should be able to empathise with people who are different to us. But it is important to think about context.
I understand, and sometimes share, the desire to be angry at people for their selective empathy. The hurt is valid and real. Especially for those who work tirelessly for the prevention of violence, and the support of its victims and survivors, only to hit wall after wall of indifference and ignorance.
Saving the Safehouse
Just last week, we supported Shakti – a refuge for women of Asian, African and Middle Eastern origin – delivered a petition to parliament to save their Wellington safe house from closure due to a lack of funding and support. Shakti was started after the murder of two migrant women and is the only refuge for migrant and refugee women in the greater Wellington region.
Those of us who engage regularly in solutions to gender-based violence were sadly not that shocked about what happened to Grace because we know how violent this country is. We know that it was founded on colonial violence and that legacy continues today. But we also know the solutions that are needed to transform our society to one that centres aroha (love), compassion, care, healing and support.
Solutions needed
Now is the time when our country needs the vision, values and solutions proposed by those on the front lines of the work to prevent, treat and end violence against women.
SIGN AND SHARE
My plea to those who are wondering where the nationwide vigils for our Māori were, trans, disabled, rural and migrant of colour women is to please keep guiding us with your wisdom. We need it now more than ever.
And to those who don’t usually engage in the campaigns and conversations about ending violence against women, please don’t forget how Grace made you feel last week.
We hope that you will continue to stand with us for a country free of violence and harm. We desperately need your help to do it.

Laura on behalf of the team at ActionStation.
Post Script: Violence against women is preventable if we work together at a family, community and country-wide level to change behaviours and values. The government has a huge role to play in making that happen. Sign the petition and ask them to make it a priority.
For a list of organisations you can donate time or money to, visit www.HelpWahine.org.nz. You can also reach out to these organisations if you need help. If it is an emergency, call 111.
If you would like to share this email as a blogpost, you can find it here.
References:
Every 4 minutes: A discussion paper on preventing family violence in New Zealand, Office of the Prime Minister’s Chief Science Advisor
Committee on the Elimination of Discrimination against Women’s report: Concluding observations on the eighth periodic review of New Zealand
A who’s who of prominent women challenge men and the Government to act in the wake of Grace Millane’s murder, NZ Herald, December 15, 2018
High profile NZ women demand more Govt action against violence, RNZ, December 15, 2018
Grace’s legacy: Prominent women challenge men and Govt, NewstalkZB, December 15, 2018
Helen Clark, other high-profile women demand government action to end violence against women, TVNZ, December 15, 2018
How changing sexist attitudes could help prevent domestic violence, Stuff, 5 December 2018.
Open letter to Jacinda Ardern
Petition of Mengzhu Fu for Shakti Community Council Inc. – Fund Shakti Wellington Refuge to support migrant and refugee women
Some of this email is based on an op-ed I wrote for RNZ: Don’t forget how you felt the next time this happens
Laura O’Connell Rapira is Director, ActionStation, an independent, crowdfunded community campaigning organisation based in Wellington. The above email was written to the Editor of Indian Newslink, raising a number of relevant questions and issues. These need discussion and we hope this will generate the thought and expression process.

Click here to sign the petition to prevent and end violence against women.