A tribute to Wenceslaus Anthony
Sneha Anthony
July 23, 2019 will mark two years since our family’s heart was shattered with grief and pain that no words can express.
Hundreds of people around the world grieved with us at the unexpected loss of my beloved father as his abundant expressions of love for everyone he knew meant that they too felt they had lost one of their own.
Many knew of Papa’s concern that his ‘beloved Doll’ had not met her Prince.
He always wondered how his Doll would cope should something happen to him. With his cheeky smile, he would shake his head in disapproval, put his arm around me and say, “What to do with this Doll of mine, won’t make up her mind.”
Dad-sent Gift
As I sobbed uncontrollably standing beside him after his passing, wondering how I would get through life without his love and presence, our family friend held me close and said, “I guarantee you darling, he will send you someone to love you.”
Given that Papa was my primary matchmaker with his vast network around the world, I accepted that marriage would most likely not happen.
Six months later, I connected with an incredible man. His warm smile and kindness captured my heart from the moment we met. Exactly seventeen months to the day that dad passed away, I had the honour of becoming his wife.
True Blessing
Meeting Mario was a true blessing; one which took me from the depths of despair to helping my family and I smile again.
The greatest of joys however also came with feelings of intense sadness.
My heart longed terribly to have Papa meet him and I knew how much he would have adored Mario. How I wished for Mario to have been able to experience his big tight comforting bear hugs, for Mario to have been able to receive his regular calls and texts where he would lovingly say, “How are you my dear son?” and proceed to make Mario feel so loved and valued.
I thought of how Mario would have enjoyed the special lunches and dinners Papa did with the young people; where he celebrated with their joys, was a comforting shoulder of advice in their struggles and went out of his way to help them with whatever they needed.
Lifting heart and spirit
I wished Mario could have seen him be the life of a party with his quirky dance moves and sing-along sessions, to hear his humour and booming laughter, all of which would lift people’s hearts and spirits, no matter what they were going through.
I wished my parents-in-law could have experienced his incredible ability to welcome them with his hospitality and the special warmth of his love, making all of us feel like one big family, that my brother and sister-in-law could have experienced him lovingly calling them son and beti and his special love and concern for them.
Papa’s love was unique and how I wish they all had experienced it.
My extremely sweet and thoughtful husband proposed to me on Father’s Day at the rolling hills of Tyburn Monastery (in Bombay, South Auckland), a place and Chapel that was very special to Dad. Though my heart was bursting with happiness, it also hurt with the thought of how the person who wanted to see this moment the most and who would have cheered the loudest was not present.
Endless wishes
I thought of the Wedding; he would not be there to tell me how beautiful his little Doll looked, he would not be there to walk me down the aisle, I would not get the chance to argue with him over the numbers on his guest list for which finding a venue would have been impossible, the life of every party would not be there at my biggest party, the master planner and organiser who has lead the organisation of some big events would not be there to organise my wedding; the list could go on.
Ye, in all of these, his spirit would somehow gently remind me that while he was not present in the way I would have liked him to be, he was still very present.
I remembered saying at his funeral that if the day came for me to be married, I pray that he would have the best seat in the house.
I realised that he would have had a big part to play in bringing me a wonderful man who loves me despite all my flaws and weaknesses.
I remembered his words to me when I used to be sad, “What beti, why are you sad, life is short, enjoy it and be thankful for all you have.”
And so I was and am thankful; thankful to our friends who are like family and gave themselves so fully to be with us through the wedding planning and the day.
I can never fully express my gratitude to all those who have loved Dad and us and helped us through it all.
I specially thank Uncle Venkat for his love and all he does to support our family and remember Dad.
Incredible Mother
No words will do justice to how thankful I am for my incredible mum who organised the entire wedding and all our visitors, always smiling and staying upbeat and positive, despite her deep sadness in missing Papa.
She truly shows me what it means to be selfless and look on the bright side of life and I am beyond blessed to have her support and love in all that life brings.
I am thankful for my amazing brother who led me down the aisle, displaying a strength and courage well beyond his years, being a pillar of support to mum and me and along with mum surviving on virtually no sleep during my wedding week to ensure that they could give Mario and me a wedding to treasure.
Immeasurable gratitude
I am thankful to my extended family for all their support and help to ensure my day ran smoothly. I am thankful to my remarkable husband, for his kind heart and caring nature, for persevering in his love for me through it all, for doing his best to put a smile on my face and help me laugh through life.
And above all, I am thankful to God for his continued grace, mercy and faithfulness through it all. While the morning of the Wedding day brought a lot of tears and sadness, in the true spirit of Papa’s joy, I ensured that I would enjoy our day to the utmost as he would have wanted me to and as we honoured him through our ceremony, I prayed that I would find the strength to live through my challenges as he had – with faith, hope, love and a smile.
As we go through life, different seasons in life will bring their own changes and challenges. As I navigate my seasons of life, I deeply long to hear his voice telling me, “all will be okay,” to have his sound wisdom and advice, to help me see people and situations with his easy-going and wise perspective, to journey with Mario and me in our new life together, the list goes on.
My wedding invite tribute to him said, “I pray that your spirit will always be a guiding light in our new lives together.”
I think of his spirit, one of an incredibly strong faith that was put into practice in his generosity and humility, love for all as if they were his own, making sure that he reached out to people, despite his incredibly-packed schedules, working hard for us, making the most of his life and talents, his ability not to be affected by how people treated him, forgive and see the good in them.
I think of his spirit of joy, laughter and happiness and this is the spirit that, despite my deep ache, propels me on to face each day with joy and a smile.
Photo Caption:
- Sneha Anthony with the portrait of her father, the late Wenceslaus Anthony on her Wedding Day on February 23, 2019 (Picture Supplied)
- Sneha Anthony, daughter of Wenceslaus Anthony, seen here with (from left) her husband Mario, mother Susan and brother Akash taken at their wedding on February 23, 2019 (Picture by Narendra Bedekar, Creative Eye Fotographics)
