Aparna Dubey
Auckland, April 28, 2021
There are many real stumbling blocks to living our dream life.
Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you are right.”
How true! Our inner talk plays especially an important role in shaping our daily lives and our future and we cannot see how powerful they are until we realise that it is now time to challenge those limiting beliefs.
Self-belief imperative
After having coached many people and being on the journey of self-transformation myself, I must recommend one thing to all my readers which is the core learning of my entire life: “Get rid of every thought which makes you feel less.”
You are unique in yourself- be it your abilities, your ideas, and your charm- no one can be like you and you do not need to be like someone else either. Stop listening to the false stories which have been fed into your subconscious mind over the past many years and you have accepted them as your reality.
But listen, that can change and you and only you can do that.
Assertive vs Arrogance
Does that happen overnight? Not at all, but consistent and continuous efforts will certainly make a big difference in due course and you will see how your life starts to change for better.
David, one of my former clients (not his real name), a very smart and a self-employed young man, came to me with a problem. He had issues when dealing with difficult people and he used to think that he will never be able to make a good leader as he lacked assertiveness when he saw a difficult person/situation coming.
After initial few sessions, I came to realise that he was not like this as a child, but the social pressure and some previous bad experiences of life made him believe that being assertive is a sign of arrogance and conditioned his mind to avoid difficult situations.
We did an interesting exercise for one week and the results were astonishing.
I asked him to write down three reasons why he thinks being assertive is a ‘bad’ and what worse might happen if he chooses to be right than to conform.
Superficial results
The reasons, as you can imagine came out to be very superficial, had no real basis when we reasoned it together.
David’s mind made these stories and he started to believe in those without even questioning them. This is what happens with many of us, as we tend to listen to the false stories which makes us feel short or small and stops our growth.
David has become better in his dealings now and his fulfilment is my real accomplishment.
Let us face this inner enemy- start now.
A simple exercise
Take a pen and a paper and do the following exercise: (1) Write down your three beliefs about yourself which are limiting (for example, I am not good with people, I can’ lose weight, I can’t have a good life etc) (2) Give/write real reasons to support each of them as to why do you think those are true.
How do you feel about yourself without those beliefs?
Will you go for that shot without any fear or judgement about yourself?
Maybe you should, because those reasons are not real and your mind has been selling that to you to keep you in your comfort zone, but you know what your comfort zone is a great place to be, but nothing grows there sadly!
So, my friends from now on, promise yourself to become a critique of your own thoughts and only think about the things which you want to think- about your growth, your dreams, your goals and connecting with your higher self.
As my father used to say, ‘Every day is a new day,’ and therefore, take that plunge and start working towards your dream life. I am with you on this journey of self- transformation!
For any assistance or query, please visit my website on www.gentem.co.nz
Aparna Dubey runs Gentem Life Coaching: Redesigning Life. She leads her life with a passion for helping people lead their best lives and achieve what they truly desire. Gentem aims to help people and professionals transform their lives. She has about 15 years of experience in leading transformation in businesses and individuals. Email: aparna@gentem.co.nz
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