Navigating the challenges of superficial parental approaches
Praneeta Mahajan
Hamilton, July 11, 2024
In the ever-evolving landscape of parenting, a new term has emerged to describe a concerning trend – “Plastic Parenting.” This phenomenon refers to parenting styles that prioritise outward appearances and societal expectations over genuine emotional connections and authentic relationships with children.
As parents navigate the complexities of raising the next generation, it is crucial to explore the implications of plastic parenting and seek expert insights on how to foster healthier, more meaningful connections with our children.
Understanding the Approach
Plastic parenting is characterised by an emphasis on surface-level achievements, external validations, and a desire to conform to societal standards.
Parents engaged in this style often prioritise academic success, extracurricular accomplishments, and the image of a perfect family over the emotional well-being and individual needs of their children.
This approach can lead to a superficial understanding of parenting, where the focus is on how things appear rather than the substance of the parent-child relationship.
To gain deeper insights into the concept of plastic parenting, we spoke with Dr Emily Turner, a child psychologist with over two decades of experience. Dr Turner highlighted the dangers of this parenting style and said, “Plastic parenting can create an environment where children feel pressured to meet external expectations, leading to anxiety, stress, and a lack of authentic self-expression. It can hinder the development of a child’s self-esteem and identity.”
She emphasises the importance of balance and authenticity in parenting. “Children need a nurturing and supportive environment where they can explore their interests, make mistakes, and learn from experiences. Plastic parenting can stifle this process, hindering the development of resilience and coping mechanisms in children.”
Impact on children
Plastic parenting can have lasting effects on a child’s emotional and psychological well-being. Children raised in such an environment may struggle with self-esteem issues, perfectionism, and a fear of failure. The pressure to conform to external standards can lead to a lack of autonomy and a diminished sense of self.
Dr Mark Johnson, a family therapist, adds, “Children need a secure and loving foundation to thrive. Plastic parenting can erode this foundation by placing undue emphasis on performance and appearances. It is essential for parents to recognise the long-term impact of their approach and make conscious efforts to prioritise authentic connections with their children.”
Author Insights
Renowned author and parenting expert, Dr Madeline Levine, in her book “Teach Your Children Well,” warns against the perils of overemphasising achievements.
She said, “When parents value a child’s accomplishments more than the child’s own sense of self, it sends a clear message that who they are is less important than what they do. This can lead to a lifelong struggle with self-worth.”
Dr Shefali Tsabary, author of “The Conscious Parent,” echoes this sentiment. “True parenting is about becoming aware of our own inner state and how it affects our children. It is about moving away from the illusion of perfection and embracing the authenticity of our relationships.”
Jane Roberts, a mother of two, shares her experience with shifting from plastic parenting to a more authentic approach. “I used to be so focused on making sure my kids excelled in every area. It was exhausting for all of us. When I started focusing more on their happiness and less on their achievements, I noticed a huge difference. They are more relaxed, more themselves, and our relationship is so much stronger.”
Embracing Authentic Parenting
To counteract the effects of plastic parenting, experts recommend adopting a more authentic and holistic approach to parenting. Dr Sarah Mitchell, a parenting coach, suggests, “Authentic parenting involves being present, understanding your child’s unique needs, and fostering a genuine connection based on love and trust. It is about prioritising emotional well-being over societal expectations.”
Practical Strategies for Authentic Parenting
- Active Listening: Take the time to listen actively to your child’s thoughts and feelings. Create a safe space where they feel comfortable expressing themselves without fear of judgment.
- Encourage Individuality: Celebrate your child’s uniqueness and encourage them to explore their interests, even if they do not align with conventional expectations.
- Set Realistic Expectations: Recognise that every child is different, and success comes in various forms. Set realistic expectations based on your child’s abilities and interests rather than societal benchmarks.
- Prioritise Quality Time: Quality time is more valuable than quantity. Engage in meaningful activities together, fostering a deeper connection.
- Model Authenticity: Children learn by example. Model authenticity in your own actions and decisions, showing that it is okay to be true to oneself.
As parents, it is crucial to reflect on our parenting styles, seeking a balance between societal expectations and the authentic needs of our children.
By embracing a more genuine approach to parenting, we can create an environment that nurtures individuality, resilience, and a strong parent-child bond, setting the foundation for a healthy and fulfilling future.
Praneeta Mahajan is an Indian Newslink reporter based in Hamilton.
