Ambiga Krishnasamy posts a photo of herself from a hospital on Facebook. With what looks like a clean-shaven head and catheter showing from her chest, she smiles brightly. And her post is full of positivity.
Ambiga is a well-known Bharatanatyam dancer and career counsellor in Singapore. There have been concerns as to why she has become wheelchair-bound, and more importantly how she maintains her positive attitude which exudes through her social media platforms. Hers is a narrative that has to be shared. Ambiga gives an exclusive interview to Indian Newslink that will shed light on key life lessons.
Discovery of Illness
Ambiga was practising for her Navaratri (Dussehra) performance in 2013 when her dance teacher noticed her dragging her feet. Ambika too felt that she, was unable to balance properly. She continued to train and perform during Navratri, assuming it was most probably muscle strain or lethargy. Ambiga visits her doctor soon after her performance due to spasms in her right hand and is asked whether anybody in her family has MS. Ambiga, who is unsure what that meant, seeks clarification. Doctors believe she has Multiple Sclerosis and that she may have suffered a stroke. Ambika was 31 years old at the time.
Ambiga, an optimistic person was certain that nothing bad would happen to her. She was admitted to the hospital on 11 December 2013. On 12 December 2013, Ambiga was delivered the news that would change her life forever: that she has Multiple Sclerosis. Fighting back tears, she says “All I knew at that point was that Multiple Sclerosis was a nerve disorder and that there is no cure for it. My world came to a standstill when they told me my diagnosis. It was as if I was in the Matrix movie. Everything came to a standstill and even my tears froze.”
The deterioration phase
In 2017, Ambiga was counselling at a polytechnique when she encountered her first inability to control her bladder and bowels. She recounts how it was embarrassing for her and she had to rush to get herself cleaned. “I was in denial for a very long time. I refused to go on adult diapers. But it is just a matter of time. I even refused to use a walking stick and then relented. Then, when it came to me being bound to a wheelchair, you can imagine my emotions. Even opening doors was a challenge. But you know what, it made me a stronger person. It taught me a lesson that equipped me with the capability to circumvent challenges” she said. “Thus, being in a wheelchair was liberating because I could now do things on my own.” Ambiga has become wheelchair-bound since 2017. Over the course of ten years, Ambiga just has her left-hand functioning.
Ambiga faces more challenges
Ambiga recounts how she was dating someone when she was diagnosed, and her partner married her despite her illness. She did conceive as well. But her fifth-month scan detected that there were issues with the blood supply to the child’s brain. “I had to terminate my pregnancy and deliver my stillborn child,“ she said wiping her tears away. Ambiga’s marriage lasted only two years. “It was too much for him to handle. I do understand that. I have no ill feelings towards him.”
Coping Mechanism
Ambiga says that she lives in the present: “I don’t plan about the future, as I do not know what my future holds. I live every day with gratitude. Gratitude that I have gotten another day to live. Isn’t that amazing? You know the song ‘Unakkum Keezhae Ullavar kodi, Ninaithu Paarthu Nimmathi Naadu’ (remember that there are many who are less fortunate than you) that is my policy. I still consider myself privileged that I have a place that I call my own. I moved into my own flat this year and started living on my own. I have access to medicine and support. I know there are a lot of people out there who don’t even have what I have. My life is one of gratitude.” She explained how there are times when she does feel really low, and she said “it is ok to cry and feel emotional. We need to learn how to process our emotions so that we can compartmentalise them and go on with our lives.”
Amiga stated that the most important life lesson she has learned through her disease is about self-love. “We are so busy striving to fit into roles that society wants us to play that we forget about ourselves. Love yourself and recognise that you are a magnificent creature, “ she said.
Ambiga is now undergoing HSCT therapy. HSCT (haematopoietic stem cell transplantation) is a strong chemotherapy treatment that aims to stop the damage caused by MS by destroying and then regrowing the immune system with one’s own stem cells.
“The procedure is exhausting. It is a technique of extracting stem cells from my bone marrow through a neck incision and then resending them to the body. Also, because my immunity is reduced, I must be isolated after each treatment and that can be a challenge.” Ambiga concluded the interview by saying, “Life is like a boxing battle; you may have supporters, officials, and people who help you, but it is up to you to walk into the rink and fight. Remember that MS does not have a cure YET!”.
Ambiga Continues to inspire
Ambiga continues to give Bharatanatyam performances when her health allows her to, albeit confined to a wheelchair. She also appeared in a Singapore drama series titled Thilana for the ethnic Indian television, Vasantham. Ambiga continues to inspire people.
Multiple Sclerosis (MS)
Multiple Sclerosis is a neurodegenerative disease. The cause of it is still unknown. It affects the brain’s ability to control the body. The disease affects both conscious and unconscious functions, such as movement and responses to stimuli like sight, touch, and hearing. According to studies, one out of every thousand New Zealanders has MS. As a result, there are over 4000 persons in New Zealand who have been diagnosed with MS. For further information on MS, please visit Multiple Sclerosis New Zealand website.
Malini Yugendran who is an Indian Newslink reporter based in Auckland.
