Good conversations help children’s healthy growth

Communication is the golden rule of all family relationships (INL Image)

Praneeta Mahajan
Hamilton, May 18, 2023

Engaging in conversations with is important for their cognitive and social development. It can be challenging to keep the conversation going, especially when children can be easily distracted. Here are some tips on how to have engaging conversations with, along with expert comments.

Children are inquisitive and curious by nature, and they have a lot of questions that need to be answered. As an adult, it is crucial to have engaging conversations with them to satisfy their curiosity and help them learn more about the world around them.

The problem

A research conducted a study of 2000 parents with school-aged children found that on an average, families get just 37 minutes of quality time together per day. With limited interaction, the children learn most of their values and beliefs through either their peers or through online resources, which are now replacing family teachings and parental communication.

In a recent study around the effect of parental communication about health and health behaviours on children’s health and wellbeing, Parents reported feeling unsure how best to talk with their children about sensitive health topics and may avoid such conversations; yet if children have questions or concerns about their health, talking to a parent could enhance their health and wellbeing.

In another study, it was concluded that students with externalising behaviour problems live in family types that have problematic functioning, that is, they live in types of families where the quality of family relationships is low and is characterised by poor connectivity, poor communication and dissatisfaction with the family.

Parental Communication

While parenting is an ever learning experience, a few suggestions from experts can summarise how you can effectively communicate and connect with your children.

Encourage Questions- Encouraging children to ask questions is essential in engaging conversations with children. Young minds are naturally curious and love to learn, so it is important to create an environment where they feel comfortable asking questions. According to Dr Kathy Hirsh-Pasek, a psychology professor, “One of the most important things you can do as a parent is to encourage your child’s curiosity.” When children ask questions, it shows that they are interested in the topic and want to learn more.
Be interested in what they have to say- Children love to talk about their interests, so it is important to show interest in what they are saying. Ask open-ended questions that encourage them to share more information. Dr David Anderson, senior director of the ADHD and Behaviour Disorders Centre at the Child Mind Institute, says, “Showing interest in what they are saying helps them feel heard and understood.”
Use active listening skills- Active listening is an important skill that helps build strong relationships. It involves paying attention to what the other person is saying and responding in a way that shows you understand what they are saying. Dr Anderson says, “Reflect back what they are saying to show you are actively listening.”
Be patient -Children take longer to process information and express themselves. Be patient and give them time to formulate their thoughts. Dr Anderson says, “Do not rush them or finish their sentences. Give them the space to think and express themselves.”
Use age-appropriate language- Use language that is appropriate for the child’s age and developmental level. Dr Mary Margaret Gleason, a child psychiatrist and director of the Child Psychiatry Consultation Service at Tulane University School of Medicine, says, “Using age-appropriate language is important because it helps the child understand what you are saying.”
Be mindful of body language- Body language can communicate more than words. Be mindful of your body language when talking to children. Dr Gleason says, “Make sure your body language is open and inviting. This can help put the child at ease and encourage them to share more.”
Do not be afraid to use humour- Humour can be a great way to connect with and make them feel more comfortable. Dr Anderson says, “Using humour can help break the ice and create a more relaxed atmosphere.”
Be positive- Children respond well to positive feedback. Use positive language and encourage them to share their thoughts and ideas. Dr Gleason says, “Using positive language can help build their self-esteem and confidence.”
Respect their privacy- Children have the right to privacy. Avoid asking them personal questions that they may not feel comfortable answering. Dr Gleason says, “Respecting their privacy shows that you value and respect them as individuals.”
Use real-life examples- Children learn best through real-life examples. Use examples that they can relate to and understand. Dr Anderson says, “Using real-life examples can help them understand complex concepts and ideas.”
Be mindful of their emotions- Children have emotions just like adults do. Be mindful of their emotions when talking to them. Dr Gleason says, “Acknowledge their emotions and validate their feelings. This can help them feel heard and understood.”