Adversity strengthens will to succeed

Thousands of women (of late even men) around the world suffer mental, physical and sexual abuse, experiencing trauma and trepidation for the most part of their married life.

Divorce is often no relief to such victims of family violence, for, the inner scars that they bear haunt them forever, unless they are able to divert their energies to positive action and convert personal adversity into public good.

You have to be someone like Farida Sultana to put aside personal sufferings and create an institution that would cater to people like her.

In her Foreword to the Book, United Nations Development Programme Head and former New Zealand Prime Minister Helen Clark said violence is perpetrated against women and girls in every corner of the globe.

“In many parts of the world, the situation for women has not improved, and refuges do not exist for women trapped by economic dependency on husbands and fathers whose social domination is matched by superior physical strength.”

I have known Farida for about 12 years and she always appealed to me as a woman determined to promote the rights of other women, end their sufferings and create opportunities for them to restart their lives and careers.

But the founder of Shakti, an enormously successful refugee to women who suffer the evil effects of family violence, forever betrays the fact that she was herself one of the worst victims of not only domestic and matrimonial discord but also of a society that willingly discriminates against women in the garb of tradition and religion.

Her book, ‘Purple Dandelion’ reads almost like a Shakespearean tragedy, except that every word in it breathes of fact. It is one of those unputdownable books that would enrage you about the wayward world of men, willing to commit atrocities and believe as if nothing was wrong.

Always wronged

From her formative years in her native Bangladesh to Iran, a country at war (with Iraq), United Kingdom, where ‘coloured migrants’ are under attack and New Zealand, where discrimination was clandestine, Farida would appear to have been in the wrong places at the wrong times.

Yet, her desire to lead a life of normalcy, doing her own things in her own phase was constantly destroyed.

Her married life was continuation of the greatest sorrow in life – losing her beloved father (‘My Abba,’ as she says) – for some people nothing seems to work out either in their personal or social life.

Those who know Farida would agree that she is no ordinary woman. From a timid teenager in Bangladesh and elsewhere, she has become a strong advocate of women’s rights and the need to rise against those who perpetrate violence against them. Her experience as a new migrant in New Zealand was perhaps a catalyst in establishing Shakti, which has grown to be a massive tree that provides shelter to women abused at home.

The fact that she was herself once an inmate of Shakti in London should have been a source of inspiration for her.

Shila Nair, who has co-authored Purple Dandelion, brings forth her talent as a good listener and a great writer. We have known her since her arrival in New Zealand almost ten years ago (her first job in New Zealand was with Indian Newslink as a Reporter) and the Book undoubtedly has sparkling of her innate ability to describe facts without dramatising them.

I agree with the Publisher’s Promo: ‘Purple Dandelion’ is a reflection of Farida’s personal journey as an unconventional child who struggled through her adulthood and married life and chronicles her remarkable life. Being a survivor of violence and abuse, she emerged as a strong advocate against all forms of violence and cultural and religious oppression against women.”

Editor’s Note: An interview with Farida will appear in an ensuing edition