Paraprosdokians are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or a phrase is surprising and is frequently humorous.
The late Sir Winston Churchill loves them.
Here are a few:
1. Where there is a will, i want to be in it.
2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you; but it is still on my list.
3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
4. If I agreed with you, we would both be wrong.
5, We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.
6. War does not determine who is right, only who is left.
7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
9. I did not say it was your fault; I said I was blaming you.
10. I thought thatIi was wrong once but I was mistaken.
11. I used to be indecisive, but now I am not so sure.
12. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
13.Going to Church does not make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
14.You are never too old to learn something stupid.
15.I am supposed to respect my elders, but it is getting harder and harder for me to find one.
16.Always borrow money from a pessimist. He will not expect it back.
17.A diplomat is someone who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
18.Hospitality is making your guests feel like they are at home, even if you wish they were.
19.Money cannot buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
20.Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
21.A clear conscience is usually a sign of bad memory.
Sent by Ray Annamalai, North Shore, Auckland
