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Balancing mental health while supporting others


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Praneeta Mahajan
Hamilton, September 25, 2024

Caring for children or elderly family members is a significant responsibility. While fulfilling, the role often places parents and caregivers under immense mental pressure. Balancing one’s own mental health while supporting loved ones can be challenging, yet it is vital for both the caregiver’s well-being and the quality of care they provide.

The Weight of Responsibility

Parents and caregivers frequently face mental health challenges such as anxiety, stress, and burnout. The constant worry over the well-being of those under their care, paired with time management pressures and financial burdens, can take a toll.

“As a mother of two, I often find myself feeling emotionally drained. Between work, household tasks, and making sure my kids are healthy and happy, I sometimes forget to care for my own mental health,” said Mira Patel, a working mother from Auckland. “It feels like there is no time left for me.”

Experts have observed a significant rise in mental health issues among caregivers, particularly in the aftermath of the Covid 19 pandemic. Juggling caregiving duties with work-from-home situations has become increasingly common, leaving caregivers with little downtime.

Tips for Young Parents

For young parents especially, the pressure to maintain a balance between caring for children, managing work, and maintaining personal well-being can be overwhelming.

Renowned clinical psychologist and author Dr Shefali Tsabary, known for her work on conscious parenting, stresses that young parents often face unrealistic societal expectations. “There is a lot of pressure on young parents to ‘do it all’—from being hands-on parents to achieving career success. It is important to set realistic expectations for yourself and your family,” she explained.

Here are some additional tips for young parents to manage their mental health:

  • Accept imperfection: “Perfectionism is the enemy of peace. Give yourself grace and recognise that it is okay not to have everything under control.
  • Establish routines: Routines provide structure for both parents and children, making day-to-day tasks feel more manageable.
  • Communicate openly with your partner: Sharing responsibilities and being honest about feelings of overwhelm can alleviate the load.
  • Embrace flexibility: Parenting is unpredictable. Being flexible with plans and tasks can reduce stress when things don’t go as expected.
  • Set boundaries with technology: Constant connection can exacerbate feelings of overwhelm. Allocate time away from screens to focus on your mental health.

Dr Tsabary also highlights the importance of mindfulness. “Parents often get caught up in a cycle of stress and pressure, believing they must control every aspect of their child’s life. Mindful parenting encourages us to let go of this control and focus on our own inner peace, which naturally benefits the entire family.”

Tips for Managing Mental Health

Dr Sophie Brown, a clinical psychologist and author, emphasises the importance of setting boundaries and practising self-care in her blog. “Caregivers must understand that taking time for themselves is not selfish—it is essential. You cannot pour from an empty cup,” she said.

Dr Brown advises caregivers to:

  • Schedule ‘me-time’: Whether it is a ten-minute walk or a hobby, dedicating time to oneself can have profound benefits.
  • Seek support: Sharing caregiving duties with family members or friends can reduce the burden. It is okay to ask for help.
  • Prioritise sleep: Sleep deprivation leads to increased stress. Ensuring enough rest is crucial to maintaining mental wellness.
  • Stay connected: Engaging with other caregivers through support groups can provide a sense of community and emotional release.

“One thing that saved me was joining an online caregivers’ group,” said Sasha Wang, a caregiver for her elderly mother. “It is comforting to know that others are going through the same thing, and we exchange tips on how to cope.”

Support Systems in New Zealand

New Zealand offers several support systems aimed at helping caregivers manage their mental health. National initiatives such as the Caregiver Support Subsidy and free mental health counselling through organisations like Lifeline and the Mental Health Foundation are available to assist individuals in need.

“These services are crucial,” said Ian Thompson, a community support worker. “We need to ensure caregivers know they are not alone, and that professional help is accessible.

Local community centres and district health boards also provide respite care services, offering caregivers temporary relief. These services can be vital in helping caregivers recharge and prevent burnout.”

As the mental health challenges faced by parents and caregivers continue to grow, acknowledging their struggles and providing resources to support their well-being is essential. Caregivers who maintain their mental health are better equipped to offer care to those who depend on them, creating a healthier environment for everyone involved.

Praneeta Mahajan is an Indian Newslink reporter based in Hamilton.

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